I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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