He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
