why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
