I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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