Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
