i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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