is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i think im in europe. pls send help
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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