I'm really into asian looking animals
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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