You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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