my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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