so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
