So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
