I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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