I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
