dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
