Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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