I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
