I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
