you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
