I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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