god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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