Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
