forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize