Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
