By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
