Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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