oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
