yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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