Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
