It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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