Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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