do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize