don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
