i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
