Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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