White coat. Heels.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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