8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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