at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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