I heard we made out
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
