I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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