yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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