He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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