I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
