I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
