ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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