i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
