If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize