she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My vagina just recognized that song.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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