lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
