She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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