why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
