I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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