if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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