smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize