That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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