you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My vagina is officially offended.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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