I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
