well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
