I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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