I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
