I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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