i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm always down for nudity.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
